My greatest lesson of 2023 began with the practice of expecting the unexpected.

Often, we hold great expectations of how we want our lives to roll out. Sometimes we unconsciously manifest these hopes and fears into our lives. No matter what happens, our actions in response to the situation are what defines our character. When we hold expectations to a certain event or situation in our lives, we proactively prepare for its consequences. We do this with the belief that it would cost less damage to our lives. Yet, when the tables turn against us, we’re left dumbfounded. Betrayed by the universe and utterly devastated.

Someone with an ambitious and imaginative personality like me would fall wounded to hear things such as “have no expectations,” something I often heard from adults, yet never fully comprehended till I began practising it. There is something powerful in knowing you have control over your life, though, through a bigger lens, you begin seeing the many other lives intertwined with yours. Even if it’s just ordering your regular at a café or giving way to move for the strangers on a crowded street. We are a part of something greater than just you and me. The world, that which we refer to as a society tends to differentiate amongst one another for more clarity in their own lives.

Picking at insignificant matters only leaves us contributing to something beyond our true value. The more we allow ourselves to be bothered, we allow those ill feelings to settle in and eat us alive thought after thought. This is not only a consequence of activating negative energies within and around us, but rather a way to eliminate minuscule pessimism. We may not have control over our surroundings, yet we harness the capabilities to control ourselves. I like to believe that a human’s superior gift is being able to make believe and mentally shifting a state of mind for the better. In simpler words, try to see a situation as optimistically as possible.

One of the biggest ways I was able to practice this efficiently was because of my pre-existing nature to put less weight on a bad situation and immediately shift gears into solving the problem or issue. The catch was that I never allowed myself to accept a worse situation for what it was. It was in my stubbornness that always tried to force a positive to a bad experience, which in fact, always left me feeling worn out. When we put too much weight on words and glances, that itself is a waste of the limited energy we carry. Even then, try not to blame your surroundings, and invest that minimal energy into making an already tense situation, more relaxed. This is a way we can practice mindfulness and instead influence those around us to loosen up.

The thing is, in a world full of demands to meet societal expectations, it’s hard to observe what’s in front of us. We live in our heads to the point where our realities have to come crashing down to observe the defects in our lives. The less we expect, the greater we appreciate the value of people, scenarios, things and most importantly, life.

All of this does not mean holding yourself back from achieving great things. It’s to filter the importance of circumstances and help you know when to use your rose-coloured glasses. Many may say that it makes a man aloof, yet it’s the greatest weapon to mankind, allowing one to protect their peace.

In my experience, the practice of expecting the unexpected has built my tolerance and patience for things foreign to me. Instead, enabling me to pace my thoughts and ask apt questions to help me understand better. Best of all, I began accepting reality for what it is and working towards making superior changes, whether it be for myself or the task at hand.

The next time things don’t go as planned, like when your order gets messed up or someone bumps into you in the street and doesn’t apologise; catch a breath and know that the ill feeling is not permanent. Things happen, and life is most fruitful when lived with no expectations.